“My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.”—Ayn rand explaining objectivism
But I think I’ve really re-found myself now. I had to go through a few different phases to be able to plant my feet solidly on my own Earth again, but I’m back soundly and surely. It took a some new experiences to make me realize just how far away from myself I had really gotten. But I’m thankful I’ve been able to recapture much of what I had lost in myself. Because now I feel I have the best balance ever. Life is incredibly balanced right now. And I think that’s because I’ve been simplifying it as much as possible. Which is surprisingly important for my peace of mind.
Never sounds as good as it does when it’s surrounding you as youre driving home alone at night. Well, with the exception of when you’re laying in bed with your eyes closed. Some songs can really make me feel like I’m else where. Little motel - modest mouse is definitely one of these songs. So are numerous dcfc songs. I should collaborate a list and entitle it “travel.” also. I miss mixtapes. Someone make me one. K goodnight. Thanks.
People who always expect to be praised and always talk about themselves annoy me. I’d rather talk to someone who loathed themselves than someone who thinks they are the most special person in the room. #annoyance
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”—Muad’Dib | Dune
I could go back to cold days in December, when even the air itself was invigorating. I miss the newness life had to share then. I was such an introspective and otherwise completely different person then than I am now today. I’m not talking last December or the December before that. I’m talking like 7 years ago December. When Fuse use to actually play music, and good music at that. Times when I could go over to my cousin’s house and jump on the trampoline in the freezing cold. In those split seconds, with the frosting air whipping my hair vertical, I felt unbounded. I can’t even reiterate the freeness those moments held. This was a time before true recognition of stresses and bitterness. There was sadness during those days and of course teenage angst, but even that was somehow escapable. I don’t know why this moment in time sticks with me so strongly, but it always has. Even seven years later, I can remember the outfit I wore and the people I was with. I can even remember the way the cold air felt on my uncovered face and way it had it’s own distinguishing smell, somehow. It’s odd how certain memories are engraved into our minds..
Last year, I began to hate the cold. Before this, the chill was always something I looked forward to. It was somehow stimulating before. But, last winter, something had changed. It was depressing, lonely, and completely undesirable. I wish I could feel that same excitement and invigoration from the cold again.
I’m cleaning up my old cpu that I used from 6th-10th grade. Hello random msn convo histories and hilarity. I would say I miss it, but my stupidity was too great to go back too. However, I did find a lot of really awesome ironically funny pictures. and emo pictures of course. I dont know why I wasnt made to clear it earlier.. oh well. No time like the present!
Manhattan - a pretty neat film. It had an interesting black and white effect with ironic scenes portraying the demoralization of the future generation because of what has become acceptable and really even desirable.